Today I just feel boring. Okay, a part of that is the fact that I am stuck in Des Moines, but really I think my life is pretty damn boring right now. I mean, the most exciting thing I've done recently has been to try and figure out how to make knee-knuckle joints for a rod puppet from easily obtained materials from Home Depot.
I kinda came to that realization this morning when I ran into Olga (very attrractive girl at work) who was in a discussion in Russian with a coworker. It struck me that I don't speak enough Russian to have an "in" with her in any kind of fun way-- I can say "it's a notebook" or "what are you doing in the bathroom", neither of which is a real great conversation starter-- and that I would stand no chance with dating her.
Not that it was a real option to begin with. I don't date coworkers, and I'm not really dating now, but the thoughts occur to me in a sort of "practice" sense. Like of the friends I have now, who would I ask out on a real date? Most of my woman friends are either married or otherwise attached, and of the ones that are single, there aren't a lot of them that have expressed an interest.
I certainly have a lot of woman friends I would go out on a "friends" date with. And we'd have a good time. But with a true romantic interest I can only think of one person, and I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't want it to be serious.
Okay, I really have been out of circulation for a while. And I haven't exactly been cultivating a list of available women, or even really considering the dating availability and interest level of the women I meet. And actually putting that in writing seems really cold and calculating, like I'm sizing up every woman I see for her dating potential. Cripes.
I don't want to be like that. Although on some level, perhaps I actually do categorize the women I meet. I suppose it's inevitable that some part of my brain that I choose to shun in public meanders into the "yeah, I'd do her" mode like some frat boy at a sorority keg party.
Is this what I have come to?
You know, maybe I'm just so out of practice that I'm overcompensating. Perhaps I need to do "friends" dating for a while just to get back in the swing. Build up those dating muscles that atrophied for so long. And maybe I should work something out with my married-or-otherwise-attached woman friends to do the friends dating with them, knowing there is no pressure for romanticizing, but building up some mad skillz.
I can just see it. "Hey, do you mind if I borrow your wife for a bit? I need to practice dating. I'll have her home by midnight, I promise."
I do like the idea of practice dating though. Or a dating coach.
Then again, I'm down here, and pretty much away from friends completely. I could make an effort to meet some new women here, but again it seems so mercenary.
Really, I should just scrap the idea of dating and work on movies. I know how they work.