Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Others have had the strength.

I'm Rob, and I'm a survivor of sexual violence.

First of all, this is really hard to write.

When I see the words Sexual Violence, like many others, I think of things like rape at gunpoint, and forced sex with the threat of physical harm. But as I have been reading the stories that so many others have put forth, I realize that my experience fits just as much.

This is something that may be a little oogie. If that bothers you, leave now.

When I was a small child, between 2-5 years old, we would visit my grandparents on occasion-- family holidays mostly-- and being a young child, I was often forced to take afternoon naps with my grandfather.
On these occasions, he would digitally sodomize me. Not every time, but many of them.
When I got older, my sister would take some time with me so that I didn't have to take naps anymore. It wasn't until my father's funeral that I found out she had been molested as well.

In the greater scheme of things, it's not the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Both my grandfather and my father are long dead. And it is many, many years ago, and I have recovered considerably, mostly with the help of patient and understanding sexual partners.

But because I was sexualized as a child, it does affect the way that I deal with sexual issues as an adult. And knowing that has made me a lot more acutely aware of issues of sex and sexuality.

I never really thought of it as a violent act. But it was without my consent.

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