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Questions of the day

Have you ever turned anyone down when they asked you on a date?

If you did, did you tell them why?

Did you lie?

What was the real reason?


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 4th, 2004 05:34 am (UTC)
Have you ever turned anyone down when they asked you on a date?
Yes I have

Did you lie? No

What was the real reason? Was not in accordance with my standards..

Aug. 4th, 2004 05:40 pm (UTC)
Wow-- that sounds cold. :)
Aug. 4th, 2004 07:45 am (UTC)
Have you ever turned anyone down when they asked you on a date?
-- Yes, of course.

If you did, did you tell them why?
-- In some instances, yes. Not always. "You're a little old for me," and "Thanks, but you're married," are on the list of honest responses.

Did you lie?
-- Sometimes I begged off with other committments and a brilliant smile that was both intended and interpreted correctly to prevent another offer. I usually used this tactic when there wasn't any glaring objection, I just didn't find myself attracted to the person.

What was the real reason?
-- See above. I usually don't get approached by regular folks. I get approached by pedophilic old (married) guys. This makes it easy to turn them down. On the odd chance someone more appealing asks me out, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt unless there's just no chemistry whatsoever. Sometimes even then I'll go just out of curiosity's sake.

Frankly, I've done the asking when it comes to those I've dated long term. I had to pretty much beat my current boyfriend over the head and drag him back to my cave.
Aug. 4th, 2004 05:41 pm (UTC)
Pedophilic? :)
Aug. 4th, 2004 10:02 am (UTC)
Good questions!
1. I'm trying to think of a time when I have done that. I don't think so. Usually I have gone out with guys who have asked me. Even if I shouldn't have. As I grew older, I became more choosy. Do guys hit on me? Oh yes. I have to get creative sometimes to get them to leave me alone. Or course, I can just drop the marriage card now. :-)

2. I always try to be nice. If this isn't an option, I just try to hide as fast as I can.

3. Yes, I have lied to get men to leave me alone.

4. At conventions, I have met some real losers (in addition to all the pretty boys). If it is obvious that the guy hasn't looked at himself in a mirror in years, that is a bad sign. If he looks like he hasn't been out of his parent's basement in years, that is also a bad sign. It is sad when guys don't know how to flirt without coming off really really creepy.

At CONvergence, I met this guy just out of the blue. He was sitting in the volunteer desk area. I thought it was weird that he was talking to a girl who was around 16 years old. He was obviously in his mid 30's. Decent looking guy. Well groomed. He was trying to hit on her without making it look like he was. He seemed okay (maybe just a little horny) until I had been listening to the two of them talk and then I finally joined in and we started talking about his interests. He started gay bashing quite unashamedly. I'd had enough. He had a real problem with homosexuals. So, whatever rapport he was able to achieve with the two of us was ruined at that moment. I managed to smile and get out of there without saying much more. He was probably pissed that I showed up and stopped him from macking on this 16 year old girl. That was more than you wanted to hear wasn't it?
Aug. 4th, 2004 01:59 pm (UTC)
Good for you!
He was probably pissed that I showed up and stopped him from macking on this 16 year old girl.

As the mother of a fourteen year old who looks seventeen, thanks.
Aug. 5th, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Good for you!
Of course! That guy turned out to be a real slimeball.
Aug. 4th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Good questions!
No, not at all. I like hearing from you.
Aug. 4th, 2004 02:05 pm (UTC)
1. Yes. Several times

2. Most of the time - I'm already dating someone, I'm taking time off dating because I'm still bitter and I'll punish whoever's next, you're married, you just got divorced last month, I am offended by your political opinions and we'd fight all the time...

3. I have, but not very often. Usually the truth is reasonable enough.

4. I don't think I've done this very often, I have told co-workers that I was already dating someone just to avoid the hassle of telling people that I didn't want to date someone from work.
Aug. 4th, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
Kind of. I've had overtures made to me online that I've ignored. People will criticize me for being a chickenshit for doing that, and I wouldn't argue with them.

The fact is I had absolutely no idea how to turn them down without hurting their feelings to the point of trauma. This is partly due to leftover emotional damage from my suicide-threatening high school girlfriend. I got a real despiration vibe from these women. Also, they just plain were not attractive to me at all, and had... um... body types that men traditionally do not find attractive. Which made me feel guilty. And made me feel depressed because I was only attracting despirate, unattractive women. And...

It was just a galaxy of neuroses that came up. The only way I could figure out how to deal with it was to hide. Which I can't really defend.
Aug. 5th, 2004 03:35 am (UTC)
1. yes
2. yes
3. no
4. a multitude, Married - Different stages emotionally - Much different political or religious views - I am currently dating someone.

I tend to be fairly up front without being mean to people who ask me out in person.

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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