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I find that the women I am attracted to are almost always younger than I am. Sometimes considerably so.
And that really doesn't bother me all that much. Some of my friends have pointed out to me that I am "old enough to be her father" in one case. And I am. I think I'm actually the same age as her mother.
But I am so very much not my age. Guys that are my physical age have wrinkly skin and play golf. My skin is smooth, and I play mini-golf. I play computer games, and I read science fiction, and I like Stargate SG-1 and Buffy.
I feel like I'm in my early 30's. Really, I got my degrees in 1990 and entered the workforce in '91, so that would make me around 35-36 in career years. That kind of excludes the career that I already had before college.

I just don't think about my chronological age unless I have to. Like when I start considering dating. Should I make age a consideration? Should I worry that a woman that I find attractive may be 20 years younger than me? Or should I just go with her character and the things I like about her and not make a problem where one may not exist?

If there is a problem with age differences, how much of an age difference is appropriate? Is it measured as a percentage of your chronological age? Some span? How far away do you get before it's "just plain wrong"?

(Okay, this was actually triggered by the news story this morning about the woman teacher who had a child by one of her students (actually I think it's 2 children now) getting out of prison after a seven-year sentence. She's 42, he's 21. They are looking to get married now, and the comments from the radio show were disparaging to say the least.)

Comments

twilight_ashes
Aug. 4th, 2004 10:08 am (UTC)
No matter how you want to look at it, chronological age is a factor. I personally don't see a problem with dating someone 20 years older or younger than yourself, but you have to keep in mind that the decades you grew up in were different times. And that can cause issues. Not to mention the fact of life expereinces being different.

Honestly, as long as both people love and care about each other a lot and aren't using the age thing as an excuse for something else ("I'm going through a midlife crisis, so I want to date a hot 21 year old." or "This guy's got a decent job and has more money than guys my age do!" etc.) there's not problem with it.

Of course, there are a few cases where I think the older person in the relationship needs to give the younger one a chance to grow....They can still admit to liking the younger one and tell them they're interested in persuing a relationship, but they should give them a few more years to live their life and see what they want out of it.
magicmarmot
Aug. 4th, 2004 06:01 pm (UTC)
I do worry about the midlife crisis thing. I mean all I need is a shiny new bright red sports car, and I'd be in.

This whole relationship thing is complicated.

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