You have a retirement plan. Never retire.
Your retirement plan involves finding a rich partner. That would work too.
You have children.
You like children most of the time.
You're happily employed.
You've given up on at least one major dream.
You have no dreams left.
You know it's terrible, but still you LOVE Britney Spears. at least her thighs.
Who the hell is Britney Spears and why is she always on 20/20?
You're registered as an absentee voter because you're too lazy to go to the polls.
Your sex life is nobody's business.
Your sex life is everybody's business.
You miss college.
You never went to college.
You quit your education before you wanted to because of financial reasons.
You regret having children sometimes.
You're delighted you have children.
You're sorry you never had children.
You're pregnant now and scared sh**less.
You've developed the taste for something out-of-the-ordinary on your pizza Bavarian sausage and sauerkraut rocks!
You have a wine cellar.
Your twenties were crazy. what I remember of them...
You drink too much.
You think you don't drink enough.
You've lived with someone who has a drinking or drug habit that bothers you.
You've left an abusive relationship. Hmmm...
You still live with someone who drinks or uses drugs too much, but you like your life anyway.
You're in middle management or you own your own business.
You've tried owning your own business, given it your all, and still watched it go down the drain.
You regularly do something illegal. unless you cound speeding...
You wish you were a trained assassin--then you could REALLY do something about the Bush Administration.
"Mommy/Daddy--I'm hungry" is one of your least favorite phrases.
You don't really have the patience for all these memes, so you stop reading at 33.
You've ignored a crying child.
You could never ignore a crying child.
You've called 911 more than once.
You'd never repeat high school.
You 've been the victim of a violent crime.
You've lost track of the number of car accidents you've been in.
Anime--leave it. depends on the anime then, dunnit?
You've been to some kind of Geek Con in the past five years. HA ha ha ha ha...
The last time you went out dancing, you were the oldest person on the floor.
You're proud of what you've accomplished so far.
You've pointed a gun at someone. prop gun, safety rules
You've fired a gun.
You're proud to say you're a feminist.
You remember The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew on t.v.
You miss them.
You regularly spend money on something that you couldn't afford when you were younger.
You've been evicted. technically the house was condemned.
You've had bill collectors after you.
You've always been financially responsible--until now.
You've always been financially responsible and you still are.
You can't always be honest with your real life friends about how much time you spend online because it's embarrassing.
You have a secret email account that no one in your real life knows about. It's under a different name.
You sometimes plan your disappearance. hell, I'm in Iowa, that's close enough.
Plastic surgery--take it.
Plastic surgery--leave it. depends on the plastic surgery then, dunnit?
But you love shows about plastic surgery.
You're beyond being embarrassed by your tv viewing habits.
You don't watch tv.
Getting rid of the damned tv was the best thing you ever did.
You live in cohousing or intentional community.
Don't tell anyone, but sometimes you toss recyclables in the trash because the recycle bin is full.
Compared to other people your age, you're actually pretty well off.
You don't compare yourself to other people your age.
People in their twenties annoy you.
Everyone under 30 looks like a teenager to you.
You've changed your own flat tire.
You've had a flat tire on a lonely stretch of highway before cell phones even existed.
You remember the CB craze.
In fact you know what song "so we crashed the gate/ doing 98/ and said let them truckers roll 10-4" is from.
And you can sing the chorus.
Some of your slang is stuck in another decade, you jiveturkey, you. cool.
You're too young to be this incontinent.
You still like Sting/Barry Manilow/Perry Como.
You have significant caretaking responsibilities for a parent.
You're more or less making it as a freelancer. contractor
One or more of your joints has started to go.
You have exactly the life you always thought you'd have.
You don't have exactly the life you always thought you'd have, but you love it anyway.
Aging is interesting.