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A friend of mine recently found a woman who is making him very happy. They share a pretty solid interest in something, and they have been getting along quite well since they met. He's pretty happy, though part of it is that his life seems to be having a lot of good things happening after quite a spell of not-so-good things.

I'm quite happy for him.

I'm also exploring myself for the tiniest bit of jealousy. And it's there, this tiny kernel, so small as to be almost insignificant. It's not really so much jealousy as perhaps envy.
I do not begrudge him his relationship at all. I think he is deserving of finding someone that he is compatible with, and someone that can bring out the happiness inside of him.
His ideal woman is not my ideal woman. She is perfectly fine, but she isn't who I would consider as a life-partner.
No, the feeling is a little bit of envy. Envy at having found someone who is compatible, who enjoys the same things as you do and is passionate about them instead of just tolerating them.
And it's small. Tiny. Almost insignificant.

Today I am very nearly at peace with the world. I still struggle with my own internal demons, but it is merely a matter of time-- they are defeated, they know it, but they just can't give up the struggle because it is what they do. It is what they are. To give up would be to cease to exist.

I still struggle with what I would like in a relationship. The watchword of the past week or so has been acceptance and joy as opposed to tolerance.

My friend has told me that there are a lot of hot little freaks out there who are into body parts and horror movies and who would really dig having a house full of skeletons, cadavers, skulls and tombstones. I told him I want names and numbers.

But consider the title of freaks. Am I in that category?

And I have to think that indeed I am.

At any given time, I have several skeletons, many many skulls, various monster heads, hands, arms, feet, brains, a jar full of eyeballs, various tombstones. I may pick up a casket or two. I designed the shed to double as a mausoleum. I sometimes drive around with a corpse buckled into my passenger seat, and I find it amusing. I am skilled in the art of creating "lifelike" decayed corpses.
These are not the things that you find on Martha Stewart.

I am a freak. And a geek.

And I'm okay with that.

On one hand, it kind of limits my dating pool. On the other, it makes the available options so much more interesting.

The problem is how to meet the "hot little freaks".

The thought strikes me that I should consider hosting a corpsemaking workshop. There would have to be a lab fee to cover materials, probably around $100.00, and it would take several hours and be really messy and fun. And you'd get to bring home your very own life-size (death-size?) corpse.

Or I could do a zombie-head workshop which would take less time and be less expensive-- probably around $25.00. Still pretty messy and fun.

And making tombstones. And welding. And lots of fun stuff.

Things to consider for next year.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 2nd, 2004 09:53 am (UTC)
You have a ton of skills that I would love to learn. And others would too! AND, you are correct - it would be a great way to meet people interested in what you are interested in.

Verrrverry smart.

We can't be THAT rare, after all. I'm a hot babe and I would have fun with a house full of corpses. Cheb is a hot babe and would probably squeal at having a house full of corpses.
Sep. 2nd, 2004 10:08 am (UTC)
Aye, and the thought makes my heart flutter. :)

Although both of you do seem to be rather attached to significant others, which diminishes the chances of dating a little. :*
Sep. 2nd, 2004 10:40 am (UTC)
Sadly, we're a scarce breed, on a global scale. However, we do tend to group together for maximum awesomeness factor. Luckily, you're tied to a community that cranks out hot geek chicks like us.
Sep. 2nd, 2004 11:23 am (UTC)
Hot geek chicks = good.

Hot geek chicks like talented geek boys.

Must display talent in true geek fashion.
Sep. 2nd, 2004 10:55 am (UTC)
... someone who is compatible, who enjoys the same things as you do and is passionate about them instead of just tolerating them

I used to agree with this. Used to. Now I think that having maybe one or two intersecting passionate pursuits is plenty. I had many many many shared interests with my ex, but no respect.

So, eventually it didn't matter how much we both loved playing video games or watching Star Trek... we didn't really like each other any more.

Now, I have some things I have to do on my own, because my guy isn't interested. No big deal. It makes it better when we DO have something to share with each other, because we're not resentful for being dragged along to events we're not interested in.

... and I would dig living in a spooky house, as long as there were some spook-free zones. Like the kitchen counters (cupboards are fine), my bed and the shower. Those are places I wouldn't want to find random body parts. Even fake ones.

If you ever hold a welding seminar, I'll definitely come. I even have leftover motorcycle exhaust systems we could cut and weld to death if needed.
Sep. 2nd, 2004 11:21 am (UTC)
Welding seminar will be happening at some point, most likely next summer. Too many people interested in welding, and I am planning on getting an arc welder in the relatively near future. And I have a friend who welds and is willing to teach.
It won't be heavy-duty welding, more hobby and artist welding, but the principles are basically the same. And if I can get a MiG rig, there may be something happening with aluminum as well.
Rock on.

As for spook-free zones: Most of the industrial creepy stuff will be confined to the basement, though there will probably have to be some display items and some design elemenmts worked in.
Kitchen counters: agreed. I'm not all that hep on the cupboards actually.
Bed: No random body parts. Specific body parts perhaps, but only with a sense of fun. And not as a surprise.
Shower: Definitely bodies in the shower/bathtub for parties.

I'm still in a lot of transition. There are no set rules at this point, but I'll probably be toned down a bit from what it could be. And at this point, anything is an improvement.

Passionate pursuits: Having one or two in common is just fine. They don't have to all be there, but I would like *something*. I have a great sense of fun, and I need my SO to be on board with that. And I'd like to be able to broaden my horizons a little.

Though really there's not much that I don't do... :)
Sep. 2nd, 2004 12:43 pm (UTC)
>Welding seminar will be happening at some point, most likely next summer. It won't be heavy-duty welding, more hobby and artist welding, but the principles are basically the same. And if I can get a MiG rig, there may be something happening with aluminum as well.

Ooooohh. I SO want to build a (costume) set of Imperial Marine combat armor...
Sep. 2nd, 2004 04:46 pm (UTC)
You don't really want to weld armor, do you?
Sep. 2nd, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC)
I am de-lurking for this.......I want to learn welding too!!!!! Please,please,please..........:)
Sep. 2nd, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
Re: Hi!
I think that can be done.

I didn't know you were lurking. Though I suppose that is the nature of lurking...
Sep. 3rd, 2004 04:55 am (UTC)
Re: Hi!
Yep....such is the nature of lurking:) I could have used a corpse in my car when I got my ticket for going in the HOV lane when it was just myself.....damn it!

If you don't mind, I can add you as a friend then no lurking anymore!
Sep. 3rd, 2004 06:25 am (UTC)
Re: Hi!
Add away! I like friends.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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