Sensual and affectionate physical contact with a woman. Gentle caresses, hugs, cuddling, skin-to-skin contact.
I know this is something I desire. Hell, who wouldn't?
But foregoing that form of contact for a while makes me crave it something awful. And it's been... months. The last time that I had anything other than a very brief gentle touching was late march when I went to the strip club down here for the first time. And that was not exactly a lengthy period, maybe 15-20 minutes. And rather expensive. Before that, I can't even remember, but it's pushing a year.
Bear in mind that the first visit to the strip club was not a normal strip club experience. It had to do with one specific dancer who was exceptionally good at sensuality. And this is a full-contact club, so touching is not only allowed, it is encouraged. Almost mandatory.
Most of the dancers there aren't overly concerned with sensuality. I suppose because most of the clientele isn't overly concerned with sensuality.
That does make me an anomaly, but that really isn't so surprising. I am anomalous in a lot of ways.
I could go back to the strip club, but it would be just to see her. And it would cost me a lot of money again. And a while later, I'd still want more.
I could try and find an escort service. But again, I don't think most escorts are concerned with sensuality, and again it would be expensive. And it is about the sensuality and the touching, not about the sex.
I think the great unwashed masses don't have a lot of discernment between sensuality and sexuality. They may consider sensual touching as foreplay more than anything. I make a great distinction between the two. Sensuality can be a great companion to sex, but it is a wonderful thing in its own right.
But finding a partner with whom I can share sensual explorations, who is comfortable with her own body and willing to share it and trust and be trusted, who likes the idea of trying different techniques of massage and different textures of touch... that is difficult. Particularly considering that I'm not looking to become romantically involved.
I'm not looking for a fuckbuddy. While that would be a nice diversion, it's not what I crave.
I'm not looking to be pleasured exclusively. I'm not looking to be the pleasurer exclusively. I'm looking to explore and share. I'm looking for someone who finds the idea of being blindfolded and earmuffed and being slowly and gently caressed over every inch of her body to be an experience bordering on the spiritual.
I have to think that I'm not the only one.
But where can I find like-minded folks? How do I go about finding someone who might share my cravings? Put an ad in the paper? Join Adult Friend Finder? Post this message on livejournal and hope that someone reads it and might know of someone? Start a website called pleasuersoftheflesh.com?
And what of the short term? I'm currently living in Des Moines, not exactly what I'd consider the sensual capitol of the world. Should I go back to the strip club? Should I try an escort service? Should I try and tough it out?
None of those choices sound particularly appealing.