Right now I have to work on fixing the house and "containing" the traces of Barb. That is an ugly and complicated issue for many reasons, which I really don't want to go into right now. The important thing is that there is progress toward containment. And I know I'm going to have to force the issue in a couple of areas.
I don't like being the asshole. And as of now, I have not been. But it will come to that, and sooner than anticipated.
For instance: the Room Where No One Walks. This has been a sticking point for years. This room is eventually destined to become either a massage room or a storage room for the studio equipment. In the interim, it could be used as a dandy storage/staging area for Barb's stuff. Right now it is completely inaccessible. And it needs to be repaired.
The basement Old Coal Room will probably be first. That will likely be on the hit list this weekend (
saveau, I will likely need help if you will be around), since we should have the second dumpster. Getting that room clean won't involve Barb that much, as it is mostly my junk (I think), and I can discard with impunity. There is more to be discarded, but this room is key. Once that room is done and clean(ish), I plan on moving Barb's already-packed stuff down there. Plastic shelves, plastic wrap, and so on. The stuff that is currently taking up space in the living room.
Then there is the bedroom to deal with.
We currently have issues when Bryan, Barb, and I are all three at the house. Barb ends up sleeping with me. As in "in the same bed". Hell, we did it for twelve years, it's not that big a deal, and the dog loves it (her pack is together). But it is uncomfortable for both of us. Freeing up the RWNOW would make that issue go away, as it would provide an extra temporary bedroom.
The other bedroom issue has more to do with *stuff* and the vast amount of it that is there. There is an edifice that I call the "clothes condo" which is basically a pile of clothes and other stuff that is about four feet high. This is her doing, and before you ask what purpose it has, consider that it is more the result of neglect. It is akin to a stalagmite that has formed over a long time of mineral deposits being dropped in the same place over and over.
She doesn't even really use the bedroom anymore, other than as a place to deposit things. The bedroom is really my room now, though I don't use it except when I'm back up there. And being that, I need to take it back and exfoliate it and turn it into my room once again.
And that will probably be a milestone in her world. Kind of the point of no return. And I think that should happen sooner, rather than later.
I am not heartless. Anybody who knows me knows that I am quite the opposite. I feel bad for her, and I want her to do well in school, and I want to make the transition smooth for her.
But I want to assure that there is a transition.
I want to let her handle it in her own way-- really I can't do anything but let her handle it in her own way-- but I also need to make advances on my own. And that will mean conflict. I'm doing what I can to eliminate or reduce the conflict before it happens, but it's gonna happen. And I'll be shit if I'm gonna let it do me again.
I have my own *stuff* to deal with as well. I have accumulated a lot of crap over the years, and I not only need to disencrap, but I have to change my methods of collecting crap. I've been working on that while I've been away in Des Moines, and so far it's been plusgood. The real test will come with being back in the house.
This weekend will be the first acid test. I am trepidatious, as it is a daunting task. It is slightly forced because we will have the dumpster, and filling it now is a lot more efficient than getting another one later. And there is no dearth of stuff to toss; most of the basement could go away and I'd probably be better off. However, a lot of it is tools and things that I do want to keep, and stuff that is destined for the garage sale or ebay. It needs to be organized rather than just dumped. And I'm just not going to have time for all of that this weekend.
And I will need help humping stuff up the stairs and out to the dumpster. And some of it to the storage shed. Maybe I should have a "humping stuff out of the house and into the dumpster" party. Free beer and pizza for all that hump-n-dump. :)
Then again, that would mean letting people see the house. It would be embarrassing, like getting caught with dirty ripped underwear, but worse.
Maybe later is better.