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The ugliness

Most of you have seen me in my underwear. Enough to know it's not exactly the most beautiful thing on the planet, though I haven't heard too many running off and screaming "My eyes! My beautiful eyes!". I'm not overly embarrased-- heck I have a picture on my user info page that provides minutes of irresponsible laughter.

I am not the neatest person in the world. But I do have at least some sense of organization, and when I am by myself, I do tend to keep things up in a fairly reasonable manner.
But I haven't been by myself for the last 12 years, and well, it's reached epic proportions.
There's a lot that goes into it. Many years of depression, possibly some other undiagnosed mental conditions, but the end result is... well, it's unliveable. It's unhealthy. It's probably bordering on criminal.

The last straw was finding out that Sadie now has fleas.

This is my dog. She depends on me, I am her absentee doggy daddy, and while I have been gone, she has become a repository for bugs that eat her flesh.
I am horrified. I am livid. I am really pissed off. It's taken me a couple of days before I can even mention it, I'm so pissed.

So this week, the bedroom needs to be expunged. Everything that's in it needs to come out and be washed, vaccuumed, or cleaned in whatever manner is appropriate. And a lot of the stuff in there is Barb's. Mostly clothes.
I have warned her that she should take whatever steps that she deems necessary this coming weekend to sort out what she needs from her piles because during the week, stuff is going to get washed and put into bins and stored.

Sadie is getting bathed and everyone is getting flea collars, and the general furniture areas are getting vaccuumed after Barb brings back the vaccuum cleaner.

You know, I've been willing to put up with a lot for a very long time. But when you hurt my pets, your time is up.

I also am having to face a whole lot of guilt over not fixing this before it got so out of hand. There is so much that I could have done. Should have done.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Can't go back, can only go forward.

[major-league snarky comment deleted]

I think I am going to have a difficult time being civil this coming week.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 5th, 2004 12:58 pm (UTC)
That really sucks! I've had to deal with fleas in a "full" house before (my mom's place is like that) and it was a pain. The usual solution is washing all bedding/clothing the animal had contact with, and vacuuming furniture and carpeting at least every 7 days (the life cycle of a flea).

Flea bombing is probably not an option, even though it would cover more bases, flea-control-wise.

... and storing Barb's stuff in bins would be expensive, no? What's wrong with boxing it up and shipping it to where-ever she wants her stuff?
Oct. 5th, 2004 01:13 pm (UTC)
I agree w/the boxing and put it in a garage or something.
Oct. 5th, 2004 06:19 pm (UTC)
Where she wants her stuff... that would be right where it is. :)

Bins or boxes, either one works. It's going into the basement.
Oct. 5th, 2004 09:33 pm (UTC)
... here I thought she was moving out. Which would entail moving... her stuff... out.

Anyway: I've some boxes of all sizes that I could lend to the cause, if you want them. I could even drop them off this week, if that helps.
Oct. 6th, 2004 10:06 am (UTC)
She has already "moved out", in that she is now living in Bemidji and going to school. However, there isn't enough space in the house that she is living in to store everything.

I have agreed to store the remaining stuff for a while; essentially until she finishes her degree. And I'm okay with that as long as she keeps working at it as her primary focus.

She also is coming back to Minneapolis to work part-time down here. And there is the whole ownership of the house thing that is an issue.

Bottom line is that she is usingh the house as a base of operations. It's a security thing. I will have to address that with her, and it won't be pretty.

Boxes help. They would be much appreciated.
Oct. 6th, 2004 10:57 am (UTC)
I have agreed to store the remaining stuff for a while; essentially until she finishes her degree.

I think this is ... unadvisable.

1. If you want to help her out, you can store the stuff for a year if you feel you must help her, but she should be the one to pack it up, not you.

2. Also, if she hasn't had/used it in a year, how badly does she need it? Storing it until she finishes her degree is signing up for a long-term connection to Barb, and allowing her to rely on you. What will your next girlfriend think about you keeping your ex's stuff for her in your house? Ask barda how she felt about it when she moved in with a boyfriend and he was still keeping things for his ex.

3. If Barb made the decision to go back to school, to start a new life... that comes with consequences and sacrifices. One of those consequences is having to arrange for storage, which does not mean leaving it for you to handle. She doesn't get to have it both ways: starting a new life, but leaving the old one behind ready to take over again just in case.

... I don't think I'm being as clear as I could be... essentially my point is that there's help, and there's being taken advantage of, and storing all her stuff is the latter. She's an adult, she should be able to take care of the moving of her stuff to a suitable storage and/or disposal spot herself.

So: how do I get the boxes to you? I'd like to have them out of my place before my party Saturday. Can I drop them off at the house? I also have spare newspaper and bubble wrap, too that you can have. Email me with the address, and I can bring them by.
Oct. 6th, 2004 11:19 am (UTC)
...there's help, and there's being taken advantage of...

Good points. I am mulling.

So: how do I get the boxes to you? I'd like to have them out of my place before my party Saturday. Can I drop them off at the house?

Oh, my, yes. There is a canopy in the back, just drop them there and they will be used.


Oct. 5th, 2004 01:14 pm (UTC)
Hang in there my friend. I wish I could help you out but I am in the middle of packing, cleaning my apt and I have MAJOR cat allergies.

You are changing it and yes, things take time.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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