I should know better.
I've been having an e-mail conversation with Barb for the last three days.
In some ways, it's been good:
I've been able to articulate things that I've been looking at for several months, and been able to tell her the primary things that had been issues for me in no uncertain terms.
I've also discovered that the communication problems in the relationship were not solely mine, nor were they even really primarily mine.
I do need focus, and I need to be more agressive in making my needs known. But that's good. That's something relatively small that I can work on.
The bad: it's emotionally exhausting. It's re-hashing a lot of old, painful stuff. Like when she asks me for examples of times that I asked her to change things about her. She actually doesn't remember me ever asking for things.
But now she's suggesting couples counseling "with the focus of learning to let each other go".
I don't think I really need counseling for that. And if I did, I don't think couples counseling is the right approach.
I do think it's time to start dating again. "Practice" dating (thanks, lexinatrix) is a good place to start. I just need light social interaction to get back in the swing of things.