I saw you today. You were at the club like you always are on Friday nights. I go in just to see you, you know. I used to come here when I couldn’t stand it anymore, because all of the girls were so mean to me, but you were different. You smiled at me and said hi, and even asked me if I wanted a private dance. I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you then, but I’m shy and sometimes I can’t talk good.
It took me weeks to work up the courage to ask you for a dance in a private booth. And you were really nice to me and you smiled. I knew then that you were special.
You touched me. And you let me touch you. I’ve never touched a girl before, not like that anyway. I’ve brushed up against girls before, but I’ve never had any of them actually let me touch them. And I saw your boobs. Real boobs, not just pictures. And you let me touch them. I was surprised at how warm and soft they were. And your skin was so smooth, and you smelled so nice. I could smell you on my clothes for weeks afterward.
I didn’t have much money. It took me weeks to make enough to get that dance from you, but it was worth it. Because now I know that you’re not like the others.
I kept coming back. You saw me and said hello again, but I couldn’t get a dance from you because I didn’t have the money. I know that you can’t dance special for me for free while you’re working or you’ll get in trouble, so I stay quiet and hide in the shadows. I can tell when you’re having a bad night because you don’t smile as much. And sometimes I get mad when some asshole makes a comment about you that’s not very nice. One time I had an “accident” and poured my drink on one guy’s lap. I saw you laugh, and that was worth getting kicked out. Your smile can really light up my day.
I finally found out where you live. And there’s an apartment right across from you that’s coming up for rent next month. I don’t know how I can afford it, but I know I have to. That way I can spend more time with you.
I passed you on the street yesterday. You were out with some friends, I don’t know who they are, but I don’t like them. I wanted to say hello, but one of them looked at me like I was diseased or something, and I didn’t want to embarrass you into having to tell them that you liked me. I followed you for a while hoping that I could catch you alone, but they just never seem to get very far away from you. Fucking bitches.
I’d like to invite you over to my apartment now, but I don’t have any furniture. As it is, the rent is more than I can really afford, so I’ve had to do some things to get by that weren’t so nice. But at least now I have a pillow and a really nice pair of binoculars. I can see you a lot better now.
Who is that guy in your apartment? I don’t trust him.
This isn’t good at all. That guy is over all the time. He drinks all of your beer and he doesn’t treat you nice. You deserve to be treated special. I’d treat you special. I’d treat you like a princess.
You fight with him all the time. I can almost hear you screaming at each other from here. He’s not good for you. And when you went into the bathroom, I saw him take money out of your purse.
I hate this man.
He hit you. Goddamit, he hit you. Fucking fuck. Fucking fucking fuck.
Don’t worry, princess. He’ll never hit you again. I took care of it.
Why are you crying? He was nothing but a worthless piece of fucking shit. He was garbage. The rats won’t even eat him, he was such shit.
You were really off today at work. I even brought some flowers to make you smile, but you just looked at me like you didn’t recognize me. You can’t keep doing that. Can’t you see how much I love you?
You look so peaceful when you sleep. So calm and innocent. I don’t understand why you cry so much during the day still.
I tried to talk to you today. I tried to give you that ring he used to wear; I thought you might like to have it back. At least it’s worth something. More than he ever was. I don’t understand why you got so upset.
What the hell is going on? It’s almost like you’re avoiding me on purpose.
They won’t let me into the club anymore. This is unacceptable.
Why did you close your blinds? Why are you trying to cut me out of your life?
I got to be friends with the super of your apartment building. He likes to drink. And he tells a lot of stories while he’s drunk. Until he passes out. He won’t miss his keys until tomorrow.
I like to watch you sleep. You look so peaceful when you sleep. So calm and innocent. I want to watch you sleep like this forever.