Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Sappy love songs

As I was drifting off to sleep last night, I somehow drifted into the thought of all of the people that I have had some sort of contact with this last year, and how my life has been affected by them.

A year ago, I was working at home on a project from hell, it was snowing, and I hadn't been outside for days. No clue about the problems to come, though they were about to start in fury.

I was about to have my broadcast television debut as a drunk writer in my underwear.

windelina and Monte were about to get married. chebutykin and cajones were about to move into their new house.

It's kind of fun to look back at my livejournal entries from that time and remember bits and pieces of what was going on. I wasn't in a particularly good place either physically, mentally, or emotionally. Barb was beginning her adventure of love and resenting the hell out of me. Horror Incorporated was coming to an end, though we didn't know it at the time.

A lot of endings. A lot of new beginnings.

I've met quite a few people this past year, some of them in person and some of them virtual. I've had a lot of growth, and I'm certainly in a much better place now than I was then.

An interesting note: Reading some old entries, I happened across an old online tarot reading.

I'm sensing that insight,
and spiritual growth are most
important for this person right now.

The Sun reveals the presence of
material happiness, fortunate
marriage, and contentment around
Him. This is an excellent sign.

The Knight of Cups indicates a
change for the worse in this
situation due to opposing forces
of arrival, messengers, offers,
and invitations.

The High Priestess reveals His
aims and ultimate object in this
matter to be under the influence
of mystery, wisdom, and science.

The Ace of Swords shows that
triumph, conquest, and force
have been deeply involved in the
situation from the start.

Death indicates that the
influence of termination,
destruction followed by rebirth,
and loss is now passing away.

The King of Swords ...a new
influence of power, command,
authority, law and government is
now coming to prominence.

The King of Wands shows the
forces of a friendly countryman:
perhaps married, honest and
conscientious at work within

The Queen of Coins, reversed,
...those of suspicion, fear, and
mistrust, in the world
surrounding Him.

The Fool marks His hopes and
fears in the matter as under the
sway of folly, extravagance,
intoxication, and frenzy.

Finally, The Queen of Swords
reveals the Culmination of these
Factors will bring forth
widowhood, absence, mourning,
and separation.

Seeing as how things turned out, there are some uncanny calls in this one.

Women in my life. There have been several, and most of them are still friends. I tend to latch on to women moreso than men, probably because I am unconsciously looking for approval and praise and attention that I didn't get growing up. Either that, or I'm a horny old goat, whichever works. Currently, I'm in this weird detached place where the line between friends and potentials is blurred. I mean that my perspective is blurred, not that I'm starting to get all hot-and-bothered by my friends.
(Look, I may find you attractive. I most likely do, otherwise I wouldn't want to be around you. That doesn't mean I'm going to hit on you. I might flirt, I might hug, I might snuggle, but right now I'm sexually disenfranchised, and I'm keeping me tallywhacker in me trousers.)
And it's not that I don't have friends that I would consider in a more "potential" role. I can think of several that I'd like to at least get into a heavy makeout session with, several that I'd like to have long brainy talks with, and a few that I'd like to sensually tease until they begged for mercy.
And there are a few that I just want to hold for a long while until we melt together in a puddle of warm, happy goo.
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