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Early morning insomnia. Not surprising I suppose; I can't remember the last time I slept through a night.

Holidays are tough on the recently-singled. I don't know if it's connected or not, but I know that I feel less lonely when there is some noise, so I fond myself very often leaving the television on in the background just so there is the sound of human voices. I've found that If I have on the ambient/trance music that I like so much, my mood is far too easily swayed (which is great if I'm writing but not so much if I'm doing laundry).

Dos Manos y Los Lobos.

That may not make sense to anyone.

A long time ago, I was a wolf. Or I thought of myself as a wolf, but I was really some mongrel dog, alone and living in a heap of strewn litter.

People use the phrase "Lone Wolf" a lot, but it's really misleading. Canines in any form are pack animals, bound together through instinct stronger than thought.

A lone wolf is a reject, shunned, alone against his nature. A Ronin. And quite possibly insane.

Thus the howling of the lone wolf, late at night when the moon is full. And the answering call of the other lonely souls in the distance, because even in their loneliness, there is a sense of kinship, of belonging that drives them to be together. Even though they may never see each other, something bonds them across all of those miles of emptiness.


Dec. 20th, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
I think the insomnia is natural. For a while, the only way I could fall asleep was watching TV.

It will get better.

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