I'm a little off-balance right now. I'd like to be all centered and
grounded and know where I'm going, but that's just not possible under
the circumstances. I want to crawl into a hole and hide.
Depression, maybe? I'm already taking medication for it, so it wouldn't
be surprising. But maybe the depression is a symptom of something
deeper.
I've had a lot of revelations about myself come pouring in fast and
furious in the last couple of weeks. It's a lot to absorb, a lot to
process. I need some downtime to figure it all out. Or maybe it's just
to recover from the shock of enlightenment.
I'm doing okay. I'm making progress toward what I hope is a better me,
devoid of neuroses and capable, strong and lovable, and happy. It still
sems like a long way off. And when the waves of epiphany come washing
over my little rubber dinghy, each one gives me a better clue to the
right direction. I just wish they didn't have to be so goddamn big.