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How deftly I rend asunder

Four consecutive days of freezing rain, ice covered sidewalks and roads,
and now a forecast of ten inches of snow tonight.

Work is being very stressful. The farther we get into this mess, the
worse it looks, and the whole schedule-pressure thing is forcing bad
decisions to be made.
My apartment is a mess. It won't take long to clean it, maybe a couple
of hours, and I'll probably do that tonight, but I just have no urge to
do it.
Working out has been providing something of a respite. I feel good when
I'm done. That good feeling fades, but it does leave some residue that
comes back when I realise that my arms have actual definition
now. Even relaxed, I can see biceps and triceps, and considering the
size of my arms, that's quite a feat.

I'm exhausted on this project. I'm not as efficient as I would like, I'm
easily distracted, and I'd rather be at home sleeping. I'm sure part of
it is the season, the living in perpetual darkness and artificial light.
Other parts are certainly the whole relationship stress thing and the
break of loneliness that's getting harder and harder to counter.

I still have a proposal to finish. That is sucking up a lot of time,
because there's really a lot of information to get through. And I have
no clue as to whether it's going to be of any use at all, except as
enlightenment to myself.

I wish I could hibernate.


Jan. 5th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
I give you my permission to smack all those dunderheads you work with up side the head with a big "I told you so!"

It is easily understandable why you are stressed and exhausted. I know for me when work is crazy and my house gets all messy I just feel like the chaos has taken over and I've lost all control and there is nowhere to escape it.

I'm not surprised that your workout gives you some respite - cause it is an actual activity you can completely control. Flex release flex release . . .

I hope things get better soon.

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