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Possibly offensive

I am not a boob man. I have mentioned this a few times, and if that kind of thing is important to you, you may remember it. Well, I spent a couple of hours Saturday night on the phone with a friend, and the subject of boobs came up as it is sometimes wont to do.
I was describing that I tend to prefer smaller, more pert breasts, natural as opposed to surgically enhanced. Again, not news to those of you who follow my mammarical fondnesses.

But today, I had what can only be considered a craving. You know how sometimes you can get a craving for chocolate, and it will drive you nuts until you get some, and even if it's 30 below outside you will brave the weather and drive to the grocery store for a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy?
My craving was for nipples. I had this immense urge to be kissing, nibbling, licking, and otherwise orally manipulating some lucky woman's nipples.
We're talking vivid images and tactile sensations here. Craving in that completely unable to concentrate on anything else way. All bloody day. A couple of hours on chat and I was still jonesing to gently nuzzle the soft undercurve of a woman's breast, to lightly kiss her pert nipples, to roll them around on my tongue... completely distracting.

And you can't just go to the grocery stor to pick up a pint of Nipple Magic. No. And I don't exactly have some wonderful female friend nearby that I can make the nipple equivalent of a booty call. So I basically had to suffer and try to distract myself.

So I took on a chore that I've been putting off for months in the cleaning sense of things. And now I am basically all wet and uncomfortable, but it's done, and I'm no longer in the supercraving stage.

But I gotta say, the next time I am in a situation where I am comfortable giving a woman pleasure-- she's gonna be very very happy.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 21st, 2005 05:06 am (UTC)
Dude, go to a strip club. I charge about $60 for two songs'-worth of nipple-licking.

Mar. 21st, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
I saw a t-shirt that I found very humorous. It said, "I'm a Grown Man and I'm Still Fascinated by Nipples."
Mar. 21st, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC)
On a semi-related note...
Tricia Helfer (6 from Battlestar Galactica) is in this Month's Stuff magazine. There's a preview:

Mar. 21st, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
Pint of nipple magic.....hee,hee.... Hang in there!
Mar. 23rd, 2005 02:39 am (UTC)

Poor dear... should have put a pair in that box. :-D
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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