It's the kind of day that makes you want to go outside and frolic with
It's time to talk about women again. Must be a day that ends in "y".
This weekend, a friend of mine told me that I shouldn't be setting my
sights on a supermodel, that I should be more "realistic".
First of all, I was floored that she thought I was "setting my sights"
at all. I've talked to her a lot about wimmin and my carnal desires and
everything in between. I think that what had happened is that during the
early phases of healing when I was telling her that I'd drop my healing
time for either Angelina Jolie or Milla Jovovich, she took me in a more
But the other part of it is that she thinks I should "date within my age
range"; when I asked her what that range should be she put a minimum age
Hell, I'm fine with that. Really I'm not that focused on age-- there is
a lot that I consider to be more important-- but in general there comes
a depth with being a little older that I find appealing. And yes, that
is a huge generalization, but we're talking substance over style here.
I tried talking to her about that. I don't know if I got through. I came
to it from the viewpoint of passion, that for me to seriously consider
someone as having potential, they would have to have a passion for
something. This rapidly deteriorated into a conversation about what
really horrible things they could be passionate about that I would
reject out of hand: stamp collecting and scrapbooking came up, and then
it just got ugly and went way off-point into OCD and fajitas.
She may just be trying to keep me from looking foolish, and I do
appreciate that. But you know, if I found a 22-year-old supermodel who
had passion and depth and there was chemistry there, I'm not gonna sit
back and go "well, I'd better not date her because she's not 25 yet".
Not that there are any 22 year old supermodels waiting in the wings for
me or anything. I put that in the same category as the winning lottery
ticket: nice to dream about, but not good to plan your life around.
And I wonder if I should try to dispel the idea that I am purely
enamored of physical beauty. I am to a point, and I believe that
everyone is to some degree influenced by their environment; when you're
steeped in images of airbrushed perfection, it's impossible not to be.
But the reality of it is that it is substance that has longevity.
I am much much more attracted to women who are creative and do
interesting and esoteric things than I am swimsuit models. Don't get me
wrong: I will look at the swimsuit models and be very
appreciative and enjoy their tight toned bodies, and I would even
socially date one or six. But for something that has deeper meaning and
longevity, there needs to be something there behind the door.
But I do have a balance point. Physical appearance does have importance,
and it does get weighed in with everything else. And self-confidence is
tangled up with appearance in such a way that confidence and charisma
come across as sexy.
There is a whole "Girl Next Door" vibe that I really like. That phrase
means a lot of different things to different people, but to me it evokes
the image of the girl that's not the beauty queen or the popular girl
that is all absorbed in how she looks and who the social "in" crowd is;
nor is she some deformed and hideous creature that must lurk below the
surface of the streets during the day for fear of scaring young
On the pretty side of plain. Bilateral symmetry, facial construction
ratios within normal parameters, HBH ratio of < 1.8, that kind of thing.
More active than passive.
And as one of my coworkers said today:
No brain, no pain.