Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Serious question for you.

How do you feel about being naked with a group of friends?

Fear of being naked.

Something that's become clear to me is that I have body image issues. I place far too much emphasis on my appearance than I should, and I think it's blocking part of my healing.

I like being naked. If I'm around the house by myself, it's a pretty good bet that I'll be naked unless it's either cold or I'll be going outside. I'm not particularly modest about my body, but if there are people around I'll usually cover up because I don't want them to have to look at me naked.

Because I'm ashamed of the way I look. That little bit has come to light very recently.

Or not really a little thing at all. Big thing. Big whopping frustrating thing. I've said before that I want to look sexy and be appreciated for my looks, and even at the time I wrote it I was concerned about how shallow it was, and how it made me feel that I felt that way. But as I've been dealing with issues (and yes I have been actively trying to deal with some mighty big things here), this one comes up as the biggest impediment to self-acceptance. And it has been exacerbated by a couple of relationships gone bad in ways that tend to feed back on the negativity.

So I want to do something about it. I've been considering joining a nudist/naturist organization, but I hesitate because while I tend to be fairly comfortable in social situations among friends, I'm pretty shy and awkward with groups of new people. And the thought of heading into unfamiliar social territory naked is the stuff of nightmares. And I'm sure that there are some other issues about the whole "lifestyle"-- from what I can see, a lot of nudist organizations shy away from single males. And I'd really rather not commit to joining a club without actually spending some time there first to see if I'd actually like it.

Am I the only one who is like this?
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