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Weekend update.

Made it into Minneapolis somewhere between 7:00 and 7:30 last night, and spent the next several hours unpacking. Unfortunately, a chunk of that time was spent rearranging stuff in the house because it's still full of clutter. The longer it took, the crankier I got.
Barb came back to the house a little after 9:00, just in time to help me bring the last two things in from the truck. I actually maintained control very well, and made it over to Jess & Colin's a little after 10:00.

Being in the company of friends helped my crankiness to abate, and a general good time was had. My favorite redhead was there, and there was some touchy-feely time, which I so sorely needed. All things considered, it was a very nice night... or early morning, as I made it home before 4:00.

Woke this morning with headache. Can you have a hangover from too much Red Bull?

Small chat with Barb. She will come down in mid-may to help with cleaning and the disinfecting of the house (think three cats and a dog being the primary residents for several months with almost no cleaning).

Reconsidering the PODS idea. Getting one of the PODS, have them drop it off in the back, put her stuff in it, have them store it. I will pay for storage through the end of her schooling, which is essentially the end of the year. Need to look into prices for that, but it's much higher on the list right now than it's been in the past, since I'm coming back to actually inhabit the house now.

Found another roof leak. Need to research building codes for roofing and additions, which I actually can do now.

Brought the vaccuum cleaner down. This one actually has a carpet attachment and is quite good at rugsucking.

Short weekend. Too short. But the last one. And on the way back to Des Moines I realized that I will never have to make that drive again. Or at least not for the same reason.

This is the final sprint for the finish.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 24th, 2005 11:28 pm (UTC)
*grins* Yaay! Almost done. :-) Hang in there!
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 25th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
Progress is good. Although I marvel that you'd pay storage on her stuff until she's out of school.

So, are you magically going to get out from under this when she gets out of school? Is there a plan in place to have the POD in her name, so that you don't have to transfer the account, you can just stop paying it whenever you're done?

She'll have school loans to pay back, how will you keep from getting sucked in by that situation into paying for her storage of her things? She made the choices to leave, go back to school, move... shouldn't she have to handle the consequences of those choices?
Apr. 25th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
The pod would be in her name, not mine.

I'd be willing to pay through the end of her school because I am very very interested in her completing her degree. I want to be supportive of that goal, and as long as she's working towards it and succeeding, and I am in a place to be able to pay for the storage, it's worth it to me.

I spent twelve years with her. There's a lot of history there, and it's not something that I can just say "fuck you" to. I've always supported her finishing her degree, but it's taken this kick in the ass to make it happen.

The PODS thing is more to get her stuff out of the way so that I can get to fixing the Big Broken Box™.

That may seem wimpy. And it may be. But I'm also wanting to remain friends on at least some level with her, because she does have a lot of positive qualities, and I do generally like her. I don't want her out of my life completely.

The problem with that is that it may come across as leading her on. And that is something that I really don't want to do.

The easy thing to do would be to get rid of it all, or tell her to get rid of it. But very rarely is the easy thing to do the right thing to do.
Apr. 29th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
Well, you know me, I'm hardassed. I love Barb, but honestly - she needs to confront the reality of her actions. She left you, she wanted a new life...ergo, she needs to find a place to put her stuff.
You've given her a YEAR and it's still not out.
She's clearly in denial about the situation. "Home" is still on south Lyndale. She still expects (and gets) too much from you.

That said - you don't want a POD. They leak. Talk to Pat Wick who gets the storage pod things for CVG.

What is going on between the two of you - the continued co-dependency - is not healthy. It needs to end. Barb won't end it, she still needs it more than you. If it's to stop, it's going to take you stopping it. Considering you're still footing alot of the bill for someone you're no longer in a relationship with, I don't think getting her stuff out of YOUR house is too much to ask.

But I'm like that.
Apr. 29th, 2005 11:09 pm (UTC)
...the continued co-dependency - is not healthy. It needs to end.


Just... fuck.

I know this. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to be the bad guy, I don't want to be the one who rips her open, I don't want to take responsibility for the pain.

I know I have to. But goddamit, I don't have to like it!

May. 2nd, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)
Let's be clear - her pain is no longer YOUR responsibility. Your actions will be the catalyst for something that she should have already dealt with. It is her actions that have resulted in this situation and she should have taken responsibility for them long ago and gotten her stuff out.

Her choices. And think of this way: "cruel to be kind". It's really going to be better for both of you in the long run.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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