It's odd really, like being at a party where everyone is slightly schizophrenic, each having their own conversations, some deep and meaningful, some light and fluffy. All are avatars of awareness, filters that provide yet another handle to the psyches of those with whom we share.
I am altered by lack of sleep and physical exhaustion. The last couple of days have been more physical than I am used to. Friday was a day spent on the ladder. I am not built for ladders. I have more days on the ladder ahead to work on the house.
Today was a break from the ladder. Shooting Horror Incorporated yet again. Stiff snd sore, and doing puppetry and effects this time that took a lot more crawling and scrunching than sitting in a chair going "yep"or "nope". And tomorrow morning I'm back for more.
So why am I awake now?
As I said, a bout of insomnia. A state in which part of my brain is awake, another part asleep. A state in which my communicative subconscious is connected to the keyboard, without the normal censure of my conscious mind.
What a freeing thing.
On one level, I am aware of a section of my brain just below the level that I'm on is filled with writhing naked women, awaiting my sensual caress. However, I choose to be with you. Feel special. Very special.
On another level is a smooth empty highway, stretching on into oblivion. The track of adventures not taken, or yet to be fulfilled.
And then there's this image of a giant yellow-orange ball. I don't know what it means, but it is warm, and tastes good.
I feel strange, like at this moment, just this one moment, everything is right with the world. It is illusion, but it is my illusion.
Every time I have seen this show, I have laughed. I keep wanting to not like it on principle, but it's just campy fun, and it doesn't take itself seriously.
And the babes are hot.
Must be spring.
Just wanted to say that. It's fun.
J. Michael Straczynski once said that making a TV show is a lot like laying the tracks for a train when the train is right behind you. There is a lot of truth in that. Shooting HI is an experience that is worth every penny, particularly when I actually get to see the show put together, and it sucks less than an Ed Wood movie. A lot less. I don't know that it's something that will haunt me for the rest of my life, or if it will be something good, but for now, it is what I do.
And it really doesn't suck. Well, except for some bits.
And hey, today I got to be "Thing".