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Today was a day of rest, at least in the physical sense. Aside from a few brief stints of being awake, I was in bed most of the time. And while I definitely needed the rest, I think it's more of an emotional and spiritual recharging that I need.

I lack clarity and focus. I feel muddled and gaussian, a sense of being painted with broad strokes and a loss of fine detail.

In a sense, the Prison Release theme is premature; the prison has only changed forms. The phase has changed: I am now an active participant in my "correction", but it requires a hell of a lot more energy than what I had considered just to get into a stable place of residence. To carry the analogy further, now I'm in a halfway house.

The best thing is that I get to be with the critters. They are little bundles of love and neediness that keep me comforted and comforting, particularly at night.

(Micha is very demanding of my complete attention when he wants to be held and petted, like right now.)

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
azul_ros
May. 8th, 2005 12:28 am (UTC)
It's amazing how life throws us curve balls, just when we think we've got a decent game plan!

I've slept in far too long today & feel very similarly. My spirit feels bereft. I'm hoping that my get together w/my mom tomorrow will help me refine my focus again. Whenever we talk, for a good long while, in person I seem to be able to find my true self again, just like a theraputic relationship. Like a real good friend. I'm working on a scrapbook I plan on giving her. I've never made one of these. I suspect I'll be up late pouring over this project! I just picked it up last night after my happy hour thing with co-workers.
magicmarmot
May. 8th, 2005 06:06 am (UTC)
It is good that you have that kind of relationship. I was noticint tonight that I have to kind of restart a lot of the friendships that I've had to kind of get back in the swing of things.
gingerpook
May. 8th, 2005 01:38 am (UTC)
Baby steps, dear.

Did I hear you live a couple of doors down from our jmanna?
magicmarmot
May. 8th, 2005 06:04 am (UTC)
Yep, three.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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