Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

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By far the most sensual of the signs, Taurus has a passionate nature and a strong sex drive. You are turned on by beautiful people and places. Your earthy, solid body exudes sensuality and arouses desire, but you hesitate to move in on a prospective lover, preferring to be asked. Despite a strong libido, you are not driven by lust. You like a stable, orderly life and are renowned for possessiveness; an active sex life is usually part of an ongoing partnership. When you fall in love, you fall heavily and finally. You are committed for life. Love is something Taurus takes very seriously indeed.

Recently I was involved in a really interesting discussion about relationships and sex, and one of the moments of clarity came when talking about my desire for something more than just sexual encounters: what I want is sex with affection. The same goes for when I am talking about sensuality, or intimacy instead of sex. It's the sense of affection that really matters.

This came about from a remark that a friend made a little while back, that I should consider becoming a regular customer of an escort service. I was trying to put into words why I felt that ultimately while an escort service would generally fulfill the physical need for sex, it would really be hollow and unfulfilling. And while I love and adore sex and intimacy in general, what is missing from the escort experience is true affection.

This ties in with other topics of trust and love and self-respect in ways that I'm really too tired to go into right now, but it's probably why all of my "romantic" relationships have all started as friendships. I've never really much been one for random sexual encounters, for as much as I put forth the image of the horny goat.

This is something that I need to remember in the dry times. I really need to remain true to myself, and those things which feel awkward are probably feeling awkward for a reason.

But there are also the cravings that sometimes roll over me like a giant ocean wave, and can make feeling awkward downright miserable. Most of the time they are gentle nudges, little reminders that being touched by someone who actively enjoys my company is nice. Once in a while though, it's like riding a hurricane, and it's all I can do to maintain a sense of dignity.

And sometimes, I fail.
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