I believe I have reconciled, at least partly, my "white knight"-ness with my ability to move forward into healthy relationships.
Some excerpts from the thought processes, not in any particular order:
- You are not a prize to be won. You are not a trophy to be trotted out and displayed to show everyone and say "look what I got". You are not a thing to be posessed and owned.
- What I give of myself, I give freely and without expectation because you are my friend.
- I want love in my life. I want it freely given, without expectation or motive or bounds. I want to be the first, best choice, with that choice made in a place of clarity and honesty.
- I can't fix everything. And sometimes there are things that it is within my power to fix, but it would not be the best choice. Understand that you have my sympathy, and it doesn't mean that I care about you any less.
I don't know that I have a complete handle on myself yet, but I'm a lot more comfortable with the concepts now.