I just took a header off of the sidewalk in front of a convenience store, carrying a bunch of 12-packs of diet Coke with Lime. Luckily the cans broke my fall.
The good news is that the fluid that is covering my left side is mostly not blood. And I can still walk. And now I know just how many cans it takes to stop a marmot from hitting the ground.
Directly under the kneecap.
"But," you might say, "didn't that hurt?"
Yes, yes it did.
I was amused to discover that the can exploded. Well, amused might be the wrong word here, but imagine putting a can of soda on the ground and stomping on it as hard as you can. You would probably hurt your foot before you were ever able to make the can explode.
Don't get me wrong. This isn't a talent. It was sheer happenstance, and I think that I'm lucky that my knee still appears to work and I didn't separate anything.
But it just seems like I'm having a bit of a bad day.