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And another depressed day.

I have depression.

I say that rather than "I am depressed" to differentiate it from a mood. I've found that a lot of people who don't understand depression think it's just a temporary mood swing, a feeling blue.

That it is not. The blue feeling is one symptom. Depression as an illness is also physical, and it is long-term. It is most often treatable with medication, and depending on circumstances, sometimes therapy can help. Stressors can exacerbate the depression.

Today I am exacerbated. Too many things coming at once. Same old stuff, just today I feel despondent over it. I want to run away and hide in a little hole where no one can find me.

The medication helps. It doesn't help with the stresses, but it helps with my ability to deal with them.

Jobhunt update:
Job in Chicago, they want someone with more ActiveX experience. The others have all apparently petered out. I did get a new call today that sounds good, and it's in Minneapolis. Here's hoping.

Not on the ladder today. Too much wind.

COPS had insane people today. Wow. I feel sane in comparison.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 14th, 2003 01:18 pm (UTC)
Nice distinction...
I thoroughly understand the difference between having "depression" and being depressed. I wish you luck in dealing with the little shit that feels overwhelming at times. I hope you are able to hide when necessary and to find moments that you can face things head on. Every little victory is indeed a victory.

I also wish you well in your job hunt. I am very familiar with how the big stresses make even little stresses exacerbated.
May. 16th, 2003 12:14 am (UTC)
Dang, that's nice.
You're very sweet, you know that?
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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