From Dr. Oblivioso's Little Book of Love
Women are like Cars.
Women are like Cars.
- Some of 'em are fast and curvy, and hug the road. Others are big and sturdy and utilitarian.
- The fast ones are expensive and the first ones to be stolen.
- Most of the time, a used one is a better deal. Newer models are more expensive.
- They all require maintenance and upkeep.
- If you're vigilant and understand how to perform basic maintenance, they can last a long time.
- If she overheats, be sure to give her time to cool down.
- Getting muddy can be fun.
- Wash them with some regularity; a clean one performs better.
- Once in a while, they need a good wax job.
- Headlights.
- Sometimes you need to add lubricant.
- Bad gas makes them smell funny.
- If you have too much to drink, you shouldn't try to drive.
- Before you buy one, take her for a test drive.
- If you rent one, rent from a reputable agency. Otherwise you don't know what you might get.
- I'd like to test drive a Maserati, but I wouldn't want to pay for one.
- Good rubber can help prevent accidents.
- A soft, cushy interior is nice to be in.
- With too much junk in the trunk, the rear end sags. A good mechanic can fix this.
- When the front end sags too much, you need some support.
- Check her dipstick regularly.
- Make sure you have a spare, and that it's properly inflated.
- If you have more than one car, don't park them in the same spot.
- When she gets too old, you can trade her in for a new model.
- When she squeals, it's time to check the brakes.
- Once in a while, vaccuum the carpet.
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magicmarmot- Tom Ramcigam
- Magic Marmot Studios
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