Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam


Something that has kind of ticked me off as of late (and it's been building for a bit) is the kind of dishonesty that I've been seeing in the periphery of the dating world.

I live a good portion of my life on-line. More precisely, I put a lot of my life out there on this journal, for better or worse. It ain't all pretty, but it's real (or at least as real as it can be through my filters).

I don't try to be suave, or sophisticated, or come across as rich or debonair. I'm just a guy, I make stupid mistakes and do dorky stuff now and then, and I am who I am.

With dating, I am the same way. I'm not trying to impress. I'm trying to be honest and say what I am, and what I'm looking for. I know I'm not traditional, I know that I'm eccentric, and I believe that in some ways I am exceptional. I also know that what I'm looking for isn't traditional, and that it is also exceptional.

If I'm not the droid you're looking for, that's really okay. I'd rather that you knew that up front rather than misrepresenting who I am in order to "get there".

I'm pretty much okay with who I am. There are some things that I don't like about myself, but for the most part I like who I've become. And that realization isn't an easy one to find, it's been heaped upon by self-doubt and thrashing and the core rollercoaster ride that my life has been for the last couple of years.

I put myself out there for the world to see. It's not everybody's cup of Saurian brandy, but it's honest. I don't put everything out there, but it's not out of some sense of secrecy: the stuff that I don't post is really either boring or just gross with no redeeming value whatsoever (I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear about my Adventures in Phlegm).

Maybe it's the wrong approach if I want to attract women. Maybe there is no Aura of Mystery surrounding me, and that is a necessary component of attraction.

But you know what? It's not who I am. And maybe, just maybe, the kind of women that I want to attract are the ones who appreciate honesty and forthrightness and the unwillingness to compromise.

Because aren't those the kind of qualities that you want in a friend?

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