Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam
magicmarmot


  1. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

  2. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

  3. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

  4. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

  5. Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."

  6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

  7. As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

  8. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

  9. I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

  10. Joan of Arc heard voices too.

  11. When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

  12. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

  13. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

  14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

  15. Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone.

  16. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

  17. I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

  18. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.



http://www.psych.upenn.edu/humor.html
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