Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam
magicmarmot

TMI

Am I the only one who has bouts of "intellectual horniness"?

Perhaps I need to describe this phenomenon in more detail:

There are times when I get truly whole-body horny, where my desire is insatiable and all-consuming and will not go away until it is sated. Other times, it's like I have the intellectual desire, like I know that I would really like sex, but my body has absolutely no desire. It's like the thought of sex is great, but the actual getting sex is just too much bother.

This is different than the "spirt is willing but the flesh is weak" effect of exhaustion. It's more of a complete separation of the physical and mental aspects of sexual desire.

I'm thinking that it may be a side effect of the antidepressants. I seem to remember that before I was taking them, I had many many more whole-body experiences. I suppose it's not truly a bad thing, since I don't really have a ready partner, and the unrelenting nature could probably lead me down the path of some rather unfortunate decisions.

But you know, I miss the whole-body experience. I miss that grunting, animalistic, tingly feeling that goes with it. I miss getting lost in sweaty flesh and animal passion.

Because of the more heady nature of my sex life now, I've become more of a gifted technician. I'm capable of providing some very nice techniques, and can go with the flow (so to speak) to make for a very satisfied victim partner. But it's more because I am aware of what's happening with her body and her demeanor and I'm adjusting what I do in a pretty calculated way, rather than being lost in the moment.

It feels a little like cheating.
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