Feeling really dissociated and un-centered. There is more to this, but it's hard to articulate.
Let's see... Barb is here. She's staying at the house tonight and tomorrow. We were both invited to the saveau surprise wedding picnic (which is a really tremendous thing and deserves it's own entry). Considering the problems that we had, I was unprepared to handle being in proximiy with her in a wedding-y setting, and it made for some uncomfortable wrapping.
And yeah, I know, suck it up, deal. All I'm saying is that I was unprepared, and a little off-balance because of it. I'm happy that I got to share in a bit of revelry with R & T, and I'm glad that Barb got to be there too.
There's money stress of course. I'm a single-income household, and I don't make as much as would be comfortable for my rock-n-roll lifestyle. And with the IRS being a bitch, it's stressful.
Then there's the ongoing Big Broken Box™ issues. Happily, they seem to have stopped cascading, and have settled down to a maintenance level of shit gone wrong.
Not to mention the whole laughable "love & romance" part of my life. Though I managed to suddenly get five "legitimate" hits on the Yahoo! personals site, and have had an interesting nonromantic contact from OkCupid.
Sleep is elusive. I can feel myself blocking internally. I know it's a defense mechanism, but it's one that's been in place far too long. And I don't see a solution, or at least not a simple one like "you should get (laid, more sleep, a vacation, etc.)". It's something that I need to work on long-term, and I'm not entirely sure how, or how to even start.
Gonna try and get back to sleep. Long shooting day tomorrow.