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Something that has always been a pattern for me for serious relationships is that I tend to lose myself in them. I become so accommodating, or at least try to be that I lose my sense of self.

Of course, knowing that doesn't necessarily make it easier.

I'm also attracted to strong personalities. That makes it harder because strong personalities tend to come attached to dominant women, and being dominated is not what I need.


Another difficulty is that sometimes that dominance comes masked in passive-aggressive behavior, because the dominator doesn't want to believe that she's being dominant.

My part in this is no small one. I want so much to be liked that I sometimes chameleon myself, whoring my wares into every viable way just to be loved.

Can't do that. No no no.

Of course, I'm still attracted to strong women. They're fun.

Now when I look at this pattern, I see this big red rubber stamp with the word DYSFUNCTIONAL on it heading toward my forehead.

Some rules of thumb:

1.) Just because I find a woman attractive doesn't mean I should get involved.
2.) Friends are good.
3.) Sex is fun.

Wait, that's not helping.

The idea of a harem is looking better and better. The idea is that if there are many women, the sultan would not become too attached to any one of them, and would not become vulnerable to manipulation or attack through his woman.

And you know, having a bunch of women, each with a specialty, is really kinda neat. Sorta like "Charlie's Angels", but more minion-y. And with hot tubs. Magicmarmot's Minions has a nice alliterative ring to it. And the costumes could be really cool.


Oct. 22nd, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
Hmmm .... sounds like the beginning of a TV reality show ...

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