Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Relationshipship, part the ninth

In the ongoing series of advice for the lovelorn, I find myself humbled once again by the words of the great Latin Doctor of Love,

In my years on this planet, I have learned that many lessons can be learned from the strangest places. Sometimes when asked a particularly difficult question that vexes me, I find myself walking through the streets of my hometown neighborhood, and I find the odd clue to a bit of insight.

Take last night for example. After a rather unfortunate incident at my local Carne de Caballo, I discovered many writings on the walls of the bathroom stall. Many of them were a bit too juvenile to bother repeating, but there was one that provoked a lot of thought:

A kiss is two questions answered at once.
This started me thinking, and since I seemed to have a lot of time on my hands, I continued thinking. Who was this person who wrote such a quote? What are the questions? Why does the concept of kissing come up while sitting on the toilet?

Then the realization hit me: this is the answer to the age-old question What do Women Want?

This is a statement that is almost zen-like in its simplicity. You must see behind the answer to grasp it.

It is as my great-uncle Rodrigo used to say:
Uno no puede sujetar con grapa el alimento chino a un walrus
Which translates to something like "one cannot staple Chinese food to a walrus". Of course uncle Rodrigo was not wearing pants at the time. We believe that he was insane.

Rodrigo actually was very wise in his insanity. Once when he was asked "Does size matter?", he replied "It is not the tool, but the technique". Unfortunately, Rodrigo was not speaking of the ways of love, but of carpentry. He also used to refer to wood screws as spiraly nails, and was known for his mantra "pointy end toward the wood". However, even this has its bearing into the ways of love, for it is not so much whether size matters, but whether the tool is right for the job, and whether you have good aim.

Once when I was a child, I asked Uncle Rodrigo the old Zen riddle What is the sound of one hand clapping?

He hit me across the head with a piece of wood. "That is the sound of one hand clapping. Now go get your mother out of the oven."

A wise man, Uncle Rodrigo.


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