Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam


TMI Warning.

Many things are running around in my brain, and I think I need to get them out so I can quiet the playground that is my mind.

Many things are running around in my brain, and I think I need to get them out so I can quiet the playground that is my mind.

Love & relationships:
Still a kind of non-thing. I've been spending some downtime with Robjn, which is lovely and hella appreciated. At this point, it's friends enjoying each other's company. Is there potential for more? Maybe. It's hard to say, and there is no rush. I like her, I'm attracted to her, I enjoy spending time together. I think it's mutual.

Health & diet:
Something that they don't tell you about the Slim-fast thing is that solid food becomes uncomfortable to eat. I don't know if it's actually from the shakes, or if it's partly the medication, or if it's that my stomach is shrinking, but even eating a salad ends up making me feel slightly nauseated.
The good news is that it's working. I have noticed a physical difference in my body from the weight loss, which actually is showing some muscle structure underneath. I have abs, who knew?
Of course, the downside is that it's not coming off evenly everywhere, and the belly-and-ass fat is coming off more slowly than the rest. Or perhaps it's just that there is more of it.
The other downside is the sagging. I'm not sure if I qualify as "rapid" weight loss, but I suspect that I do. And whether it's rapid or not, the skin is stretched. Think of filling up a balloon with as much air as it will hold, then deflating it. While it does stretch back some, there is always a sort of loose, wrinkly look.
Well, skin isn't as flexible as latex. And as I deflate, gravity pulls on many opf the bits and makes them hang in a pretty doggone unattractive way. I'll spare you the pictures and instead ship you to this site. Or this one, with before/after pictures.

Or do a google search for Killer Pannus.

So, you know, feeling a bit less than attractive through this whole thing. I try to be a bit more even about it and not let it bother me because I know it's a process, but I know that I'm in for a long time of looking like a slowly-melting candle. And of course, this affects my self-confidence and how I deal with the whole love & relationships issue.

OTOH, my blood glucose levels are doing well. Not perfect, but heading in the right direction.

My sweet girl is limping and unable to hop up on the bed. Last night I made a dog bed for her to lay on on the floor so she'd be more comfortable, but I can tell she's sad and not feeling well. There is no obvious wound, but it looks like she's favoring her left hind foot.
I did take her for a walk last night. I'm thinking that she might be achey and that just aggrivated an already achey condition, but I don't know. It might be something more serious. If she doesn't get better in a day or two, I'm taking her to the vet.
I feel so helpless. She can't tell me what's hurting, and I know that she comes to me for comfort.

Need more cuddles and snuggles.


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