I fill the tank, head inside to use the bathroom. I'm on my way out the door when I notice the latest issue of Stuff magazine has Mila Kunis on the cover.
Inside, there's a photo spread. It's hot. I pick up the magazine and head to the checkout counter.
Behind me in line is a girl. Nebulous age, but young, could be 18, could be 20. Cute in the cake-eater way, perfect hair, tight jeans, cute little coat. I hear her mutter something.
Me: Excuse me?
Her: That's disgusting.
Me: I'm sorry?
She points to the magazine.
Her: You'd never have a chance with her in real life.
I'm a bit taken aback by this, but whatever.
Me: Honey, that's why they make magazines like this.
I smile and figure it's over, but little miss Gucci doesn't seem to be done.
Her: You're a fat, disgusting pig.
Something snaps inside my head. I turn to her.
Me: You know what? You're right. I'm gonna take this magazine home and look at the pictures of her and picture her naked, and I'm gonna masturbate all over 'em until my cock gets sore. But you know what? you're right. Instead, I'm gonna be thinking of you, taking my big fat cock in your mouth and sucking on it until I come all down the back of your throat. Or maybe I'll think about what it would be like to take you in the ass. I bet your sweet little ass is just tight, isn't it? Oh, I'm gonna have a goood night. Thanks.
At this point, she's completely stunned, and her face is turning white. I leave.
And I'm just livid.
As I'm driving home, I start thinking maybe I went too far. I could have just walked away. I can't help thinking what if her dad was in line right behind her, but you know, by the time I got home, I actually felt pretty good.
Maybe it was too much. But right now I don't really care.
Maybe I missed the point earlier. This is behavior that is INCREDIBLY out of character for me. I went off the deep end and said some incredibly graphic and disturbing things because I wanted to upset her. I wanted her to feel disgusted and have nightmares for months. I wanted to hurt her.
I was angry. Livid. I was so mad I was shaking for miles at the thought of what she had said. I don't remember being that angry for years.
That bothers me. I've noticed a bit of an increase in my general crankines level since I last changed medication, but nothing of this magnitude.
On a good note, when I was angry, I resorted to using words to hurt instead of physical violence. It doesn't make me happy, but it could have been a lot worse.