Yes mom, that is porn. Yes I look at porn on occasion. No, actually I don't think it's that disgusting. No, I don't think that my "reliance on porn is keeping me from meeting a nice girl". No, I don't think that it would "scare away" any women that I might bring over. First of all, the kind of women that I would bring home wouldn't be frightened by porn. And second, it wasn't exactly "laying out", it was in a drawer.
No, my water is not getting shut off. Look at the postmark date. I was in Iowa, remember? No, I'm okay on bills. No, I'm okay. No, you don't need to go through them to check.
No mom, it's a tap wrench. It's not drug paraphernalia.
Yes, I do weigh that much. Yes, I do think that I should lose weight, that's why I'm on the diet and exercise program. Yes, I think I should lose more weight. Yes, I do think that if I lost more weight it would make it easier to find a nice girl. No, I don't think I need to go to church to meet a nice girl. Yes, I'm sure that there are nice girls at church.
Yes, I do think that all that stuff on the floor needs to get cleaned up before I put the bed back in. That's why I moved the bed out in the first place. No, that's trash. No, that's trash. No, that's trash. No, I don't need to keep an empty bag. No, I really don't need to keep an empty bag. If I need an empty bag, I can get one. I have plenty. Throw. It. Away.
No mom, don't start scraping the bathroom walls.
Yes, there are rooms in the house that are in worse shape. Yes, I know it's a mess. Yes, I think that if it was cleaned up I would feel better. Yes, I think if it was cleaned up I would be more likely to bring a nice girl home. No, I don't like it like this. No, I think it's too ambitious to clean everything this weekend and put plastic on all the windows.
No, I don't know what I want to do with those right now. Yes, I know they need to go somewhere. They actually were somewhere before you moved them. No, I'll deal with them later. No, I don't have a place special for them.
No, I don't think it's necessary to go through everything that's already in bins in the living room and sort it differently.
Did I mention the drinking heavily next week?