I've had two "serious" relationships in my life. The first one, I was married; technically it lasted three years, but only the first two really count since the last one was primarily getting the divorce finalized. The second one lasted twelve years. I think there was a little over a year in between 'em where I did not date as a healing choice. In case you're counting, that means that the last time that I was single-and-available, I was in my mid 20's.
Thing is, neither of them was ever really in love with me. They loved me, but it's not the same thing now, is it?
No really, I'm asking. I don't know.
It's been way too long. Last time I was out in the world, buying condoms was all hush-hush, nice girls didn't have tattoos, and the only piercings that you ever heard about were ears. Guys with earrings were really pushing the edge.
These days, buying cigarettes is all hush-hush, and if you dont's have at least one tattoo or piercing, people think you're square.
That means "quaint", BTW. Look it up.
I get it. I'm old. I creak and pop and my body makes involuntary noises when I get up anymore. Gravity has not been my friend; we've been not on speaking terms for some time now. And I'm more likely to consider a hip or knee replacement than another piercing. Okay, not really, but there are some sorts of body modifications that I just don't get, like the meatotomy. (Squick!)
But things can't have changed that much, can they? Women still like to cook and clean and please their husbands in bed without complaining, right? Or did I miss out on some sort of dating revolution while I was gone?
I don't think I'm that old-fashioned. More well-seasoned, like a fine oak table. Of course, it's more like one that hasn't been oiled in a few years, but still a solid core, and with some TLC and a good hand-rubbed finish, all shiny and good as new.
(Wait, why are you snickering?)
Okay, but I've had a major-league blow to the ego with the whole "not in love with you" thing. This puts me in that category of the guy who you really like as a friend but don't think of in that way. Or in other language: Wow, you're cool. I'd like to meet a guy just like you, except attractive.
And I'd like to meet someone like you, except smart. Jeebus.
One of the things that I've always believed about relationships is that they age, like a fine wine, or cheese. That things turn from the hot-and-heavy to a more sedate companionship kind of thing as a natural course of events. But maybe I missed that part of the lecture when it became commonplace for the expectation of the "romance" phase to last forever. There are gonna be times when I feel more like playing Booty Call of Cthulhu than playing with your booty. And yes, those pants make your ass look fat, but I love your fat ass. Bring it, baby. I'll spank you like a monkey.
It's true that I can't do all the things anymore that I could do when I was twenty. Hell, I don't even think I could do most of 'em when I was twenty. But I know a hell of a lot more now than I did then, and I'm a lot more patient.
Then again, I have to be.