Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

I like the concept of unconditional love. I think it's noble and warm, and full of promise.

I also don't believe it's real.

I don't believe that there is nothing that I could do that is so heinous that you wouldn't stop loving me. And really, I can think of some pretty petty things that would probably make you distance yourself really quick.

I like to think that I'm pretty forgiving. I've had friends that have stolen from me that I still think of as friends because really, it's just stuff and I like them despite their human frailties. I have friends that have done things deliberately to hurt me in moments of anger and frustration, but I understand that they were just moments. I have friends who have done things which they are deeply ashamed of, but I still love them because they are human and sometimes we do things that are screwed up.

I've screwed up myself on plenty of occasions. Some worse than others. And I'll continue to screw up.

But there are others who I choose not to associate with any longer. They are ones whom I once considered friends, but through their actions have caused me to eject them from my life. The commonality in these people is that they didn't see what they were doing as wrong, or they just didn't care.

I've also had people reject me from their lives. I doubt it's because I've done something horrible to them, it's more likely that they've just decided that I'm either not what they expected me to be, or they just didn't find me interesting anymore, or I remind them of a time in their lives when they were not "good" people.

I've had friends tell me about unconditional love, and then flake away after maybe a year. I've had loves that were supposed to last forever crumble in the space of a few weeks.

I don't think that any love is unconditional. I think it rapidly dissipates when it becomes inconvenient. And that sounds awfully cynical, but I think it's closer to the truth than our noble outlook would like to believe.

I can love. Truly, madly, deeply. I can be a true friend. I can be there to help you in your time of need. I can help you celebrate the times of joy. I can hold your hair when you puke your guts into the porcealin throne and not make fun of your Winnie-the-Pooh underwear.

But it comes with conditions.

You have to be worthy.

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