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Elle a chaud au cul

Kate Beckinsale, or a tasty turnip?

Don't get me wrong. I like Kate Beckinsale. I also like cheese. Cheese can't act its way out of a paper bag. If I had my way, I'd get a paper bag big enough for Kate Beckinsale and give it a shot. We tried it with Tara Reid, and she got paper cuts on her brain. Both of them.

Kate is pretty. I have no problem looking at her for a couple of hours, particularly wearing a tight latex catsuit. But lawdy lawdy, there are times when I'd really like my actors to be able to act. Far too many movies cast the pretty-but-vacuous girls in the lead roles, and I'd really like to start seeing movies where I don't end up saying to myself yeah, but she should be more naked. Hell, I get enough of that at work.

I expect pretty-but-vacuous in porn. Rarely does porn exist that has dramatic storytelling, or interwoven complex plotlines, or girls not named "Tiffany" or "Candy". But when you have a big box-office movie with biting social commentary like Underworld 2, I expect more.

Len Weisman, the director, married Kate Beckinsale last June. I can certainly see the attraction: I also like really aesthetically pleasing women who like to be naked. I think for me to consider getting married to one there would have to be some additional depth, but maybe that's just me.

Of course, getting to work in close proximity to really aesthetically pleasing women who like to be naked and having them fall in love with you is one of the perks of being a director. It's the main reason that I got into filmmaking, the hot babes.


Maybe I should go back to making porn, and stop expecting depth.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:03 pm (UTC)
there are times when I'd really like my actors to be able to act

Who would you give the lead in Underworld if you owned the casting couch?
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
Offhand, perhaps Tilda Swinton, or perhaps Cate Blanchett. Maybe even Kate Winslet.
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:26 pm (UTC)
Cate Blanchett! Gorgeous, and I think I could believe her as a vampire...

....and now I'm thinking about her in latex. It's all your fault.
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:35 pm (UTC)
I live to serve.
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
"Maybe I should go back to making porn" You used to make porn? Interesting ...
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
Well, none that anybody actually saw...
Jan. 13th, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
hmmmm ... even MORE interesting ...
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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