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Remember those days in gym class when everyone was choosing sides for basketball, or dodgeball, or whatever, and you were the last one to be chosen? Remember how embarrasing that was? How crappy it made you feel?

Now consider that it was probably because you sucked at basketball.

It wasn't intended as an affront to you (most of the time anyway), it was more that the captain of the team wanted to hedge his bets with the most athletic/best players first. It was embarrasing and all, but as we grow older we tend to learn about such things and accept them with a bit more dignity. Yeah, I know that I'm not gonna be a boon to the basketball team Howie, I'm okay with you picking me last.

But occasionally we get gobsmacked with something where we're chosen last at something that we think we're pretty good at, or at least something in which we're reasonably competent. And then we start to wonder what if I'm really not good at this?

It's the stuff of legend.

I got triggered on this today from an e-mail where someone was mentioning that I seemed to be a lot happier in 2003, and I reminded him that it was before I had an inkling of the relationship problems that were coming.

I was never in love with you.

I always thought I was good at relationships. I'm a nice guy, I'm caring and supportive and forgiving and generous.

It was just easier to stay with you than to be on my own.

I'm honest, dependable, trustworthy, and I help little old ladies cross the street.

I never loved you the way that you deserve to be loved.

But I'm not really attentive. I tend to get absorbed in what I'm doing, and I lose track of time.

You have no soul.

I don't do well with high-maintenance women.

Thing is, I'm beginning to understand that all women are high-maintenance to some degree.

Yeah, I know, that's not something that's exactly exclusive to women. I have my own maintenance issues that I'm learning to deal with.

But it's that whole getting picked last thing that bugs me. If I really suck that badly at relationship stuff, I'd think that I'd have caught on by now. Apparently I'm an "acquired taste", like stinky cheese, or Irish wine. Something that you have to think about, to intellectualize before accepting.

Maybe he's not so bad.

Thanks for the ego stroke there, babe.

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
purplesquirrel
Mar. 15th, 2006 11:11 pm (UTC)
The old "I was never in love with you" line is a lie. It's a way for the person who says that line to feel better about themselves and rationalize themselves out of the relationship. If there wasn't any love to begin with, the relationship probably wouldn't have happened, no matter what they claim otherwise.
magicmarmot
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
There's a history. And I actually do believe it in consideration of the other stuff. It was a "marriage of convenience".
molasses
Mar. 15th, 2006 11:16 pm (UTC)
relationships, I figure, are high maintenance. or they can be, or get to be.
Not that that is a bad thing but my nature was to roll over and say yes when every inner fibre of me was screaming/whispering "NO!" in my head.

I don't know about acquired taste. To me, from my first impressions to now, you are warm and beautiful.
warm and beautiful.
and I am happy to know you and if we were geographically in the same ball park I would be wanting to get to know you better, real life, doggiewalks, hanging out.

People are careless. I know lots of them. check the source.
magicmarmot
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
Relationships are hard. Let's go shopping.
molasses
Mar. 16th, 2006 04:26 am (UTC)
hey!
do you know Jorge Regula?

let's go shopping, OK.
magicmarmot
Mar. 16th, 2006 04:34 am (UTC)
No. Just Barbie.
molasses
Mar. 16th, 2006 04:39 am (UTC)
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Moldy+Peaches/_/Jorge+Regula

I *heart*, as they say, this song.
I lub it.
avindair
Mar. 15th, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)
No soul?

Jesus.

Sorry, that was low.

Didn't mean to bring up all those bad memories, bud. I was just catching up on your past blog in preparation for diving into Corporate Land! starting next Monday, with limited Internet access and all of the negative stuff that goes with it.

But hey! Shiny happy paycheck and benefits!
magicmarmot
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:17 am (UTC)
At least you don't have to wear a tie.
ignusfaatus
Mar. 15th, 2006 11:40 pm (UTC)
all those things are bull. every negative sentence was really
i am trying to push you away right now. I think it would be easier if you really did not like me as a person
thats all she said again and again. what a crappy passive aggressive coward.

I think you are the shiznit, marmot
inked2x
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, what she (typh0id_mary) said times 2!!
ignusfaatus
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
I would like to have you on my f-list
magicmarmot
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
Am I gonna be in trouble now?
inked2x
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
probably *wink*
inked2x
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
Oh sure ... please add me ... May I add you too?
ignusfaatus
Mar. 16th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC)
please
being_isis
Mar. 16th, 2006 08:44 am (UTC)
when it comes to relationships, I don't think it's a matter of getting picked last.

I think it's just a matter of not getting picked yet. there's a difference there.

anyway, I'd rather be in love than play basketball any day.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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