Oh yeah, great, another big whiny post.
Look, I'm making a concerted effort to try and balance journaling with being more positive, or at least less negative. I know that my tone in the last year or so has gone down like a prom date on PBR and I'm trying to change that, but at the same time I don't want to do short shrift on the historical data of how I am feeling and what is riffling through my mind.
I've heard various flavors of I just want you to be happy as of late, as well as you really need to get laid, which is meant in the best possible context I know yet is somehow lacking in sensitivity. Don't get me wrong-- I'd love to have a permanent fellatrix that I could strap on when desired and get my happy button pressed post-haste-- but the crowning glory of my life is not getting my nailgun lubricated despite what seems to be evidence to the contrary.
BTW, Puma corporate denies that this is a real ad campaign. It's too bad, really-- I suspect it was the brainchild of someone in the ad world and it was eventually deemed by corporate as inappropriate but got leaked anyway.
I do talk about sex a lot, or sexually-related offerings. I was raised in a repressive atmosphere, and once I was released into the wild, I discovered a lot of those things which I didn't even know existed like booze, drugs, strippers, and liberal politics. I became infused into that world through a bizarre confluence of events, working and living with strippers during some of my formative post-secondary years, and I learned a lot about aberrant sexual behavior and how it's not all that uncommon, or even really aberrant.
I learned that love and sex are not the same thing, and that lust is a powerful hypnotic. I learned that men can be manipulated through the desire of sex, and women can be manipulated through the desire of love, and that both are a desire for acceptance just wearing different masks.
Alone vs. Lonely is a theme that I find repeated a lot lately. I just want you to be happy translates to I want you to find a life partner because you're not happy being alone. The reality is that it's a helluva lot more complex than that, and my happiness is not solely predicated on my being attached to someone. I am somewhat more than that, and somewhat less at the same time.
I don't think that (Big-L) Love is real. I think it's an illusion born out of lust and duty and fear. I think that there is (small-L) love that exists in friendship and trust. Eros and agape, yin and yang, yoni and lingam.
Yeah. What I want is a balance. I want to be accepted and enjoyed and trusted and to have my niblick buffed on occasion.
The Two of Wands glorifies individual courage and greatness. This card taps the same energy as the Magician, but with one important difference. The Magician represents the archetype of power - the impersonal energy of creativity and strength. The Two of Wands stands for that power brought down to Earth and made personal. Personal power is an invigorating force that fills you up and lends you the courage to be great. A powerful person is like a magnet that attracts all those within a certain area.
True power always comes from the Divine. It passes through us and then flows out into the world. When we understand this relationship, we are blessed because this flow brings with it a tremendous feeling of expansion and fulfillment. We feel as if we can accomplish anything. Problems develop when we forget that we are not the source of power, only its conduit. We must be careful not to let the intoxicating feelings that come with power overwhelm our good sense and blind us to our true desires and intentions.
In readings, the Two of Wands indicates that power is a major issue in the situation. You or someone else has it or wants it. When you see this card, look carefully at your goals and activities to make sure you are using power wisely. Don't support power for its own sake, but enjoy it when it serves your worthwhile purposes. Take this gift and use it to mold your environment in positive ways.
The Two of Wands can also stand for an extra dose of daring and inventiveness. When you see this card, trust that the time is right for the bold, creative move that will knock their socks off. Forget subtlety and old, tired approaches. Allow yourself free rein and you'll be amazed at the results.