1. My roommate and I once: tricked another roommate into blowing flour all over his face.
2. Never in my life have I: had rectal bleeding.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: most women.
4. High school was: teh suxx0rz
5. When I'm nervous: I talk really fast.
6. The last time I cried was: a couple of days ago at a stupid movie.
7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: zombies!
9. My hair: is real.
10. When I was 5: I could read at a third-grade level.
11. Last Christmas: Mom came to visit.
12. When I turn my head left: I sneeze.
13. I should be: famous, rich, and good-looking.
14. When I look down I see: cat butt.
15. The craziest recent event was: the whole vomiting episode.
16. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Think crossover.
17. By this time next year: I'll be older.
18. My favorite Aunt is: dead.
19. I have a hard time understanding: foreign fast-food employees at the drive thru.
20. One time at a family gathering: I was bored.
21. You know I "like" you if: I've told you.
22. If I won an award, the first person(people) I'd thank: the little people.
23. Take my advice: don't think twice, get more ice.
24. My ideal breakfast is: served on the belly of a hot naked chick.
25. If you visit my home town: I won't be there.
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: the bathroom.
27. If you spend the night at my house: you're probably drunk, or naked, or both.
28. I'd stop my wedding if: I was having one.
29. The world could do without: Intelligent Design theorists.
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of two cockroaches.
31. The most recent thing I've bought myself is: a dual-layer DVD burner.
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: chinese food.
33. My favorite blonde is: very tasty.
34. My favorite brunette is: Also very tasty.
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: SUCK MEAN PEOPLE
36. The last time I was drunk: I barfed.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: pigs.
38. I shouldn't have been: drinking that much rum.
40. Last night I: didn't do anything out of the ordinary.
41. There's this girl I know who: I want.
42: I dont know: how to speak Alsatian.
43. A better name for me would be: Doctor Tongue's 3D House of [censored]
44. If I ever go back to school I'll: chase coeds.
45. How many days until my birthday?: depends on the day.
46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: Albert Einstein.
47. I've lived at my current address since: 1995
48. I've been told I look like: a trash bag filled with cottage cheese.
49. If I could have any car, it would be: a really cool one that would get me hot chicks.
50. If I got a new dog tomorrow, I would name it: tomorrow, too.